After The Tears
by Cyn Tolram
Summary: I needed some resolution to the episode Lagrimas. In this story, Sara tries to find answers and resolution in her own life after the death of Daniel.


After the Tears 

7/16/02

Rated PG

Time Frame: Season 2 after the episode Lagrimas

Disclaimer: All rights to Witchblade and its characters belong to Top Cow and TNT. I am just an admirer of the enigmatic Ian Nottingham as portrayed by Eric Etebari. 

Synopsis – I needed some resolution after this episode. Sara tries to find answers and resolution in her own life after the death of Daniel.

*****

Medical examiner Vicki Po had been enthralled by the DNA sample pulled from under the dead priest's fingernails. She had gotten into the habit of looking at the active slide for the last two mornings to watch the cells replicate. This morning, however, was different. As she opened the sample container, nothing but dust was inside. 

Her evidence was gone.

She rushed to the only person she knew would appreciate this as much as she did. Sara Pezzini was on her second cup of coffee when her friend Vicki plopped down in Danny's chair, her face flush with color.

"Good morning, Vic! You look like you're bustin' to tell me something." Sara began, taking another sip of java.

"Remember that DNA sample…the active one?" Vicki began.

Vicki was so excited to tell her friend everything that she failed to see the sadness in Sara's eyes. Sara just nodded.

"Well this morning…it is just dust. Isn't that amazing?" Vicki was animated. She expected more of a reaction to this news than what she got from the woman detective.

Sara had not thought about Vicki's sample but she had witnessed this amazing feat all the same, on a much larger scale. Her mind drifted back to the night Daniel died in her arms. She had watched the light go out of his eyes as he found his peace. Sara knew it was what he wanted, but it broke her heart to give him his wish. He was right though. She knew what needed to be done. 

There was no future for the two of them…and he desperately needed his peace.

As she held her lover in her arms, Daniel collapsed and dissolved under the weight of the clothes that remained on his body. His immortality no more, his body released into the dust that it should have been many thousands of years ago, running through her fingers like it was sand. She was left with nothing except the love they had shared, if she could count on that being true. Reluctantly, she had her doubts. She was pulled from her torturous memory by her friend's voice.

"Sara? Are you alright?" Vicki had asked for the third time. Sara shook her head and looked towards her concerned friend.

"What? Yeah…I'm alright, Vic. Just didn't get much sleep last night." Taking another sip, Sara tried to cover up the memories that were still so vivid in her mind. Sara's partner Danny Woo stepped into the office that they shared to find the ME still sitting at his desk. His bruised face reminded Sara of her close encounter with Kenneth Irons, who had possessed her partner, forcing Sara to belt him with a right hook.

"You making house calls?" Danny joked as Vicki relinquished his chair.

"Oh…Danny! I am _so sorry." Sara grimaced. _

"What? Your wife finally had enough of you, Woo?" Vicki quipped.

"No…but maybe Sara has." He rubbed his bruised cheek.

"I know there is a story in this, but I need to get back. Let's do lunch this week, Okay?" She got a nod from Sara before she left.

After Vicki left the room, Danny closed the door to their office, wanting some much needed privacy with his long-time partner.

"Okay…spill. What the hell happened the other night?" Danny was obviously troubled. "Did you find your stalker Nottingham? What happened to the guy that was hurt? You just left the hospital and never let me know what was going on, Pez. That's not like you."

Sara looked into Danny's eyes. She could see his love for her…and his deep concern, but she knew he was about to become a father again. She did not want to burden him with all the chaos in her life right now. She owed him _so much, but this did not feel right somehow._

"I'm not sure, Danny. I have not talked to Nottingham yet. The guy…Daniel…is not going to be pressing any charges." At least that much was certain, she thought.

"You know, partner…if someone cut my throat, I think I would be pressing some charges…and probably pressing a 38-caliber to his head." Danny knew by instinct that Sara was being evasive with him again.

"Did Nottingham do this or not?" He pressed.

"I don't know, Danny. I was up three stories…it was dark. Maybe I didn't see things right." Sara knew this sounded lame. Danny just shook his head.

"You know…you were all prepared to kill Nottingham the other night…How did Daniel leave the hospital? Did you talk to him…to find out he wasn't going to be pressing charges?" Danny was not going to leave this alone.

"I found him later. We spoke about…things. He just wanted…to leave." She sidestepped. 

"If you could speak to him, then his throat must not have been cut. How hurt was he?" Danny continued, beginning to loose patience.

"Guess not bad…we did speak. I still need to find Nottingham, but not sure what to make of all this, Danny." Her voice cracked with emotion. Danny softened his approach.

"Sara, I don't want you to find Nottingham on your own. If he is stalking you, you shouldn't encourage him by being alone with him." 

"Danny, please…let me handle this. The other night, I was so devastated. I needed you as my friend. I still need that. Don't be a cop on me now. I just need for you to give me some space, but be there when I need the friend I love." She smiled sadly as a tear fell to her cheek. She continued.

"A lot of things are going on in my life right now. I am just trying to sort all this out. I'm not ready to open up…but you will be the first person I call."

Danny shook his head, his eyes welling with tears for the pain he could see in his friend's eyes. He hated not being able to help her.

"Sara…I want…" He could not finish. Sara just nodded her head.

"I know, Danny. I know. Be patient…okay? Just a little longer." She pleaded.

As if by perfect timing, Sara's cell phone rang, breaking up the intimate moment between the two partners.

"Yeah." Sara replied quietly, still looking into her partner's eyes.

"Hey, Chief. I was just checking on you. After that call the other night, I just wanted to see how you were." Gabriel's words were guarded, like they had been the other night. Sara had to watch what she said within earshot of her partner.

"I'm fine, Gabriel. Couldn't talk much the other night." She replied.

"Well…I know it is none of my business, but I am not going to be Mr. Crypto where _you are concerned. You know…the guy that bought those drums for you? There was something not right about that guy. He gave me the creeps. I think he was just trying to buy your affections with that expensive gift. He was hostile. I don't trust him Sara. Be careful." He warned._

Sara had not known her friend Gabe long, but she had trusted him from the moment they had first met, as if she had known him in another life. It was not like him to pry into her private affairs either. This unsolicited advice was notable.

"I appreciate your concern, Gabriel. Thanks for calling. I'll come see you later." Sara knew it had taken courage for her friend to make this call. Two men in her life had just expressed concern for her wellbeing. She felt pretty good about that.

Sara had worked the day through but her mind was not on anything but what she had to do next. The day went by in a blur. She tried to push thoughts of Nottingham off in the dark recesses of her mind, but images of him slicing Daniel's throat…and those damned eyes of his…kept surfacing. As she rode her Buell home at the end of the day, she had time to think.

What had been Nottingham's intention? Was he trying to hurt her? Paybacks for orphaning him? With almost every encounter with the dark enigmatic man, she had heard the conflict in his voice. His eyes looked upon her with affection…she was sure of that. Yet, his words surprised her with so many contradictory messages of hate…lust…revenge…love.

She wondered as she turned onto her street, just how much influence Ian's dead father still had on him. Has Ian been powerless to resist his father? Does he even want to resist? She had witnessed Irons' powers of persuasion first hand. It had been frightening.

Still, Sara had instinctively continued to seek Nottingham's counsel on matters of the Witchblade. And he had been more forthcoming with meaningful answers of late…not being so cryptic. On the surface, Nottingham appeared to be close to her own age, yet he acted like an underdeveloped child emotionally. He was definitely appealing physically, but he almost seemed unstable as he struggled with finding his own way without his father. Perhaps it was too soon to tell…his grief being so much a part him.

She parked her bike and removed her helmet, entering her apartment building. As she climbed the stairs, she thought that it had been odd that when she had searched her mind for suitable dating prospects, she had not even considered Ian Nottingham. He was extremely attractive to her, and there was definitely chemistry there whenever he stood next to her. Her face would flush and her heart would race as he spoke in his quiet way. Yet, he was so much like a child. _Welcome to the world of dating! She chuckled to herself._

Sara needed someone whole…someone independent with a good sense of himself. Ian did not appear to have these qualities at present. She thought this was a shame. She was reminded of what Gabriel had said about her not being _'of this world'…as a reason he had not asked her out before. She had been hurt by his remark at first, then realized that what he had said had been very true. Nottingham was not of this world either. There was something ancient in him. Danny had said that of her once…she had an ancient soul. It was now all making sense to her as she unlocked her front door. Setting down her helmet, keys, and reaching for her gun, she spun around as she heard him speak._

"I would not blame you if you wanted to kill me, Detective." Ian Nottingham had broken into her apartment once again…a very annoying trait. Sara held her gun on him as she tried to figure out what to do. Nottingham continued.

"In case you are wondering…I wanted to give you every opportunity to seek retribution on me…with a justifiable homicide. I did break into your residence. You would be well within your rights to shoot me as an intruder, Sara." At first, she thought he was being facetious, but his eyes looked pained by his admission.

Sara was struck by Ian's version of an apology for killing her lover. This was a strange world she was now living. _Whatever happened to "I'm sorry, Sara…your lover was an evil immortal who only wanted to die. He was using you." That would have at least made an __average Jerry Springer show._

Nottingham stood in her living room with his arms extended out to his sides, as if he were awaiting a bullet of hers to tear through his chest. The odd thing…she knew that if she had chosen to take him up on his offer, that he would have accepted his fate with no regrets. _Strange World! She was reminded yet again._

"Riddle me this, Batman? Why could you not just come to me…tell me the truth?" She asked as she waved him to put his arms down.

"Would you have listened to me, Sara?" She turned to respond too quickly. He added before she spoke, "Honestly…Would you have listened?" He took a step closer to her, but kept his distance. She shrugged.

"You may have a point, Nottingham." She agreed.

"Please don't take this the wrong way, Sara…but you seem to have difficulty in spotting evil." Sara's green eyes flashed anger. He spoke again before she could argue. "Your heart is too innocent…This is not…a bad thing, Sara. How else was I to show you his evil?" He searched her eyes, hoping for some semblance of forgiveness. Since he was attempting to be brutally honest with her, he continued. His eyes reflected his anguish.

"I admit that I was jealous of his affections…I had not a care for him. Knowing I could not kill him…it had actually been a pleasant experience for me." He quickly looked away as Sara's jaw dropped. She was trying to remind herself that this was a guileless confession and that Nottingham was attempting to be candid and aboveboard with her…a first for him. He continued.

"I know I am not saying this right…but Sara, I would have taken it all back after seeing you…seeing your pain when you thought he was being killed…by me." He beseeched her for forgiveness, knowing he had no right to expect it.

"I do not deserve any consideration…the only thing I offer you is my life…if it will appease you. I would do anything to serve you, Sara." Nottingham knelt at her feet, gently reaching for her right hand, as he searched her eyes.

Sara Pezzini, Wielder of the Witchblade, was faced with accepting this strange man into her life…or cutting him out of it. She considered her options carefully. When she was ready to speak, her words were slow and measured.

"Look, Nottingham…can we make a pact here and now…whatever Irons' plans are…can you and I agree to talk to each other…as friends. I'm not sure if we _can be friends, but I'm willing to give it a shot if you are. What do you say?" She squeezed his hand, prompting him for a reply._

"I've never had a friend, Sara. I am not sure I know what that would mean." He admitted with embarrassment.

"Well…we can start with you knocking on my door when you want to visit…instead of letting yourself in every time. What's up with that?" She smiled.

"Old habits are hard to break. I'll try to remember." He replied sheepishly.

"Try, Nottingham…Try real hard." She pleaded in mock desperation.

Ian raised up from his kneeling position and walked toward her window and the fire escape, but remembered his promise and turned towards her front door. As he was about to close the door after him, Sara's voice called him back into the room.

"Hey, Nottingham?" It took her a moment to ask her question. Her eyes welled with her tears. "What _really happened? Did he only want me to kill him…put him out of his misery? Was all of it…__a lie?" Sara, the woman, wanted to know something he was not sure he could give her…wanted to give her. But his friend needed an answer._

"I think he never expected to love you, Sara. Perhaps…he realized it was just never meant to be." He spoke softly…his words catching in his throat.

"I am beginning to understand what he must have felt." He added quietly, then departed.

Ian did not wait for her response. He did not want to hear what she would have said.

The End 


End file.
